


Bad Wine and Fruit Cocktails

by Delibirdette



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Adultery, Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Humor, Asexual Character, Bittersweet Ending, Cult Ending Mention, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Jimmy Buffett References, M/M, Mild Smut, One Night Stands, One Shot, Past Relationship(s), Tattoos, Vent Piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 13:30:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11692632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delibirdette/pseuds/Delibirdette
Summary: "It was, as he would later realize reflecting on the issue many months later, a bad idea.It was a very fucking stupid idea.But if one thing was for sure, Robert had a way of making really fucking stupid decisions. So it worked out perfectly."A take on the backstory of Robert and Joseph's relationship and affair, primarily from Robert's perspective.





	Bad Wine and Fruit Cocktails

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't been this inspired to write for the longest time, so thank you dream daddy for making this a possibility! This piece became a little bit of a vent piece, as I deeply relate to what Robert is going through emotionally (or at least according to my own personal headcanons), so I hope that does not make him seem out of character.
> 
> Some side-notes: This fic is set 10 years before the game takes place. Joseph, however, is still a youth minister in this timeline despite not having kids just yet. Also: Robert is implied to be on the asexual spectrum later on. This is another personal headcanon of mine but if you do not agree with this it should not affect how you enjoy the fic.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

It was, as he would later realize reflecting on the issue many months later, a bad idea.

Of course, he didn’t know that yet. He was too naïve to at the time. But that didn’t make it any less of a bad idea. In fact, it was a very fucking stupid idea.

But if one thing was for sure, Robert had a way of making really fucking stupid decisions. So it worked out perfectly.

He should have known. It should’ve been obvious. There had to have been warning signs he could’ve read— people he could’ve listened to, expressions to read. He shouldn’t have been so trusting in it all, but he trusted anyway.

He trusted those glistening, ocean-tinted eyes that greeted him so warmly at his doorstep. Those eyes, as well as the guy that owned that dazzling pair, looked at Robert so expectantly. They were so full of happiness. Hope.

Robert was done for right then, the second their eyes had met. No, before that—the second he made the decision to move him and his daughter into this goody-goody cul-de-sac.

He trusted those cookies the man handed him. Homemade, chocolate chip. A little too sweet for Robert’s liking. It suited the man that made them perfectly.

He trusted the smile that toyed on those lips and the smooth voice that gushed so pleasantly out of that cute little mouth of his. Everything about him was so _soft_ and  _inviting._

Robert had never been one to trust those holier-than-thou Christian missionaries, but _damn_ , Joseph Christiansen was another matter entirely.

Something about Joseph made Robert feel warm inside. He felt like that expression was able to rip right through his chest and mess with his heart. He felt like he was being pried open and being compelled to spill all of his secrets and sins right there, confessing to that soft, caring face and baring his soul open for those sweet blue eyes to see. And maybe – a prickle of hope zipped up and down his chest – just maybe, those sturdy looking hands could pick up his already chipped heart and gently sew it all back together.

And the man caused those feelings to dwell and fester inside him without even trying. _Fuck._ He did everything so effortlessly, so easily, it drove Robert mad. How could a man be so perfect?

His immediate admiration for Joseph was a disaster waiting to happen. But Robert, all too ready to follow his gut instincts and take this Christian boy on the ride of his life, thought he was ready to take on such a disaster and faced it head-on. He was so good at making bad decisions, anyhow.

… Eh. People rot away in their graves regretting their actions and dwelling on the “what ifs”. Robert knew he just had to accept what was done and move on. But that was easier said than done.

Taking a long drag of his cigarette, Robert watched the smoke billow out of his lungs and dissipate into the cold, dark air of his empty living room. All he could do these days was reflect. Looking down at the tattoo on his hand, he let the bittersweet memories of its origins play in his head on repeat.

* * *

 

Robert was perhaps a little _too_ eager when he received his first invitation from Joseph. After a few days of seeing each other briefly around the cul-de-sac, the man had asked him out for drinks at the local pub, offering to “show him around” town. Frankly, Robert wasn’t expecting a man like him to drink. Perhaps this guy knew how to live it up after all, despite his youth minister status.

When Robert walked into the bar, he got a weird sense of peace. He wasn’t sure what it was, but something about the atmosphere of the place put him at ease. It reeked of alcohol, cigarette smoke, and horrible mistakes. A good vibe. He could get absolutely smashed in a place like this every night.

Joseph was sitting at the bar when Robert entered. Wearing a pink button-up and a pair of khakis, he stood out amongst the dark colors of the crowd of thugs and the bikers shrouded in leather.

Naturally, that was what Robert commented on first. “You’re dressed for the occasion, it seems.” Robert greeted Joseph as he casually took the seat adjacent to him. This seemed to be his preferred style of dress. Although he’d only moved in a few days ago, Robert had a feeling the man has never worn black in his life. Maybe it was a sin or some shit.

Joseph smiled warmly, eyes shining with something like innocence. “You’re one to talk. I do like your sweater, though.”

Robert shrugged, noting his own light blue sweater that he wore. He never claimed fashionable appearances to be his strong suit – you’re talking about a guy who’s probably only brushed his hair once in his life.

“Let’s just say I was inspired by my company.”

With no further comment on the matter, Joseph ordered the first few rounds of drinks. Robert was a whiskey man, but Joseph seemed to prefer cocktails. He must really like fruity drinks. Of course. That was so Joseph.

So they got to talking. They kept the conversation light at first, and to Robert’s distaste that meant small talk. They talked about their work, their hobbies, discovering Robert was actually a father, all things Robert had to force himself to talk about for the sake of his sensitive company. Joseph, in turn, told Robert all about Mary— Joseph’s girlfriend of three years, how charming and witty she was, how she moved in to live with him a few months ago, and how he was so happy to have a blessing such as her in his life.

Based on the forced-looking smile, Robert wasn’t entirely convinced of that.

Joseph also tried to talk about his church life, but skeptic Robert would cut him off when he’d get too detailed because “do I look like I give a damn about your religious bullshit? I didn’t come here to get converted.”

But eventually, after quite a decent amount of shots, Robert did start to care. He cared about everything Joseph had to say, maybe a bit too much. He listened for what had to be a solid two hours about the “brilliant music icon” that was Jimmy Buffett. Before the night ended, Robert had already been familiarized with at least three of the guy’s songs and how “inspirational” the lyrics were.

Hard to believe that five hours prior, Robert would’ve sworn up and down he’d never listen to a Jimmy Buffett song in his life.

“This one, in particular, is my favorite of his,” Joseph was saying as he flipped through songs on his phone. His voice was low and slurred from the alcohol intake, but he was holding his own pretty steadily much to Robert’s surprise. He definitely wasn’t an amateur drinker, that was for sure.

A few other bar patrons looked over to the drunken duo as the chorus of _Margaritaville_ and the alluring Caribbean vibes that came with it enveloped their side of the room. Some of those looks turned into glares, however, when the blond young man stood up and begun loudly belting the words along with the recording, starting his own impromptu karaoke bar.

Wow, he… actually sang very well, Robert realized as he listened. Joseph had him rather entranced with how well he could hold a tune. He had such a good voice, a handsomely low baritone sound, and he sang with such passion and real emotion about how he longed to be living a life without worry in the tropics. It was so... moving. Shit, was Joseph just flawless in literally every way? Robert was now thoroughly convinced of that. This guy put Buffet to shame with this performance!

Robert was about to join in for the final chorus when the bartender politely shoved them toward the door, graciously threatening them to leave.  
  


* * *

 

Outside of the bar, their sudden laughing fit interrupted the karaoke minute. It took all of their combined concentration and efforts not to sway and fall over as they leaned on each other’s shoulders.

“Wow… dude, I – I gotta say, you have a really nice voice.” Joseph said, a laugh in his throat as his hand roamed up to ruffle Robert’s already messy hair, “Consider me tho-rough-ly serenaded!”

In his drunken haze, Robert was convinced that was the best compliment he’d ever gotten. His face was pink from the alcohol intake. “You can’t say that. I was just about to say the same thing about you. ‘S not fair.”

“Sorry, sorry!” Joseph giggled and waved his hand about. “We could make it big. Start a band. Don’tcha think?”

“The two of us, the best Buffett impersonators there ever was!” Robert agreed.

“This calls for a celebration! Hey, come with me, there’s a liquor store nearby and I need some wine.” Joseph’s arm somehow found and linked with Robert’s, and he begun to lead him to their next destination

One trip to the liquor store later, the adventurous pair found themselves stumbling along an alleyway with a bottle of fruity wine in each hand. Their exhausted limbs found a spot not totally caked in garbage to settle down in and start drinking away. All in all, a very romantic experience.

“Here, let me show you something.”

Rolling up his sleeve, Robert could barely make out an inked anchor on Joseph’s arm in the shitty alley lighting.

“You have a tattoo?” Robert asked, unable to mask his surprise.

“I wasn’t always a youth minister, Bobert.” Joseph offered with a wink.

Bobert. He liked that nickname. He liked Joseph using that nickname. He liked Joseph calling him that nickname.

He liked Joseph. He also liked Joseph’s tattoo.

"It reminds me of a simpler time in my life. Sometimes I wish I could go back to it. It'll probably be the closest I'll ever get to Margaritaville."

" 'S that a real place?" Robert asked.

The youth minister sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's more of a... a state of being than a physical place. It's a perfect ideal, an unrealistic dream. Think about it- a place with no room for worry and the only thing you feel is true content? That isn't something you'll find very often in day-to-day life, if at all."

After watching Robert nod a few times in slow understanding, Joseph continued with his wistful speech. "Do you ever just... you're going about your day, doing something you enjoy or talking to someone who makes good company, and you get this feeling of total harmony that resonates within you? And then you think to yourself how you wish that feeling of peace never ever left, and you could stay in that moment forever?... _That_ is your Margaritaville. Or at least, the closest you can get to it in this realm of existence."

There was a fire in Joseph's eyes as he spoke. He was so passionate about this concept of a total heaven on earth. But he seemed sad on the inside, knowing full well what he dreamed for was an unrealistic hope, and that now that he was growing older he recognized his chance of having a life of bliss was long gone. By saying he wished he could go back, he merely meant he wished he could be younger again, without the pressing weight of reality weighing so heavily on his heart.

Robert didn't know what to say to this. He glanced back down at the tattoo, admiring both the handiwork as well as the deep meanings that it held inside it.

Joseph seemed to pick up on the fact Robert was still staring at the ink, because his smile widened as a brilliant idea dawned on him. “Hey, how about after we finish up here, we go get ourselves some matching tattoos?”

“I don’t know.” Robert said, suddenly solemn, “I had a couple of friends who went and got matching tattoos once. It was a really cloudy night, kinda cold. In the middle of their appointment at the parlor, everything was going great, until the clouds disappeared from the sky and the full moon shone through the windows. Turned out their tattoo artist was a werewolf. Ate them both whole. I watched it happen, there wasn't really much I could do to save them. But of course, once they were done for, I had to avenge them. So, I did the instinctive thing—I took my gun from my belt. Loaded it with silver bullets, because that's what you need to carry with you when you think you might be jumped by a werewolf, you know? My hands were shaking so bad as I aimed, but somehow I shot the damn beast right in its heart. I got to stand over it and watch it die, listening to it scream, and then it suddenly all fell into silence...”

Joseph was absolutely shaken by this story. His beautiful blue eyes widened with fear. He might’ve sobered up completely just because of that terrifying imagery. “O- oh…”

Robert was unable to hold the serious façade any longer and a smile cracked on his face. “I’m just joking, man, chill out.”

Joseph sighed, shoulders slumping as a sign of visible relief.

“Or am I?”

And so, in a haze of drunken excitement, the two of them continued their adventure in a run-down tattoo parlor nearby.

“Why’d you decide to get it on your hand? Is it symbolic of the heart you wear on your sleeve?”

“Shut up, Jo, I just think it looks cool there. Let me live a little. If I’m going to give myself a permanent reminder of this night happening, I might as well go all the way and make the ultimate bad decision by putting it somewhere that everyone can see.”

“You… think this is a bad decision?”

“Right now? Absolutely not.”  
  


* * *

 

Joseph had somehow led them to the bay. They walked along the shores in the moonlight. Robert had lost track of the time, but it had been long enough after the wine had been depleted that they had started, ever-so-slowly, sobering up.

As cliché as it sounded, Robert enjoyed watching how the moonlight glistened on the water. It was a beautiful night, and for someone who spent a majority of nights like this brooding out in the forest, being this close to the water was a different experience. In a good way.

“Hey, Bobert, can I be real with you for a second?”

“That depends. Are you about to confess to me that you’re actually a cult leader who terrorizes our cul-de-sac and have been plotting my murder for the last six hours?”

Joseph seemed taken aback by this. “What? Of course not! I’m not in a _cult._ ”

“Coulda fooled me. Christianity seems like a very good cover for secret occult societies. Not offense to God or whatever.”

Joseph shook his head, his blond locks whipping about his face. He didn’t seem to be in a joking mood all of a sudden. “No. This is serious. This is… about Mary.”

Robert grimaced. “Your girlfriend?”

“That’s the one.” By the sudden hesitation in his voice, it must have pained Joseph to mention this. But the look of determination that flashed in his ice blue eyes made it clear that whatever it was, it was important Robert knew.

Just that fact alone had the man on the edge of his seat, intrigued to hear the news.

“See, the thing is… she and I are having a really rough time. I’m not too sure we’re going to work out. We got into a fight yesterday, and she stormed out of the house and… I haven’t heard from her since.”

Ouch. Yeah… that didn’t sound good at all.

Robert wasn’t sure what to say. He studied the other’s features carefully. Joseph was avoiding his gaze, finding something interesting on the ground. He just looked… vulnerable. It made Robert’s chest ache.

“The real reason I called you out here tonight was so I could try and get away from it all. The stress, the uncertainty. You seem like a really great guy who can take a bottle of booze and turn it into an adventure. So I figured your company could really help me get back on my feet. And it has. So… I just wanted to thank you for such a great night.”

“Joseph—”

“No, no, I mean it. I know we just met a few days ago, but something about you… it just feels right. You make me think things are gonna be OK. Thi—this moment, walking along on the shoreline of the bay with you? I feel more alive than I have in a while. It’s all thanks to you, really. You’re someone that’s easy to party with… confide in… you give me a reason to keep searching for my Margaritaville. In fact… I know this might not make any sense to you, but…”

There was a pause, and Joseph’s gaze moved from the ground to look Robert in the eye.

“I think you might _be_ my Margaritaville.”

Robert prided himself in thinking he wasn’t an easy catch—like it was difficult to woo him with such poetic language. But after hearing those words and feeling his stomach flutter and knot itself in his throat with something entirely opposite of disgust, he realized he might need to revisit that reputation.

Shifting his gaze to the water, Robert brought a hand to his neck with an air of sheepishness. It was too dark to see the layer of pink that dusted his cheeks, thank god. Joseph had him hook, line, and sinker—sailor puns intended. Stupid fucking Joseph with his stupid fucking words and his stupid fucking eyes. Making Robert feel like some dumb, lovesick school girl.

Robert cleared his throat. “I don’t really, ah… _get_ … sap, Jo.”

“That’s fine. Let me speak to you in a language you _do_ understand, then.”

Joseph’s strong yet gentle hand moved to angle Robert’s chin upwards, forcing his gaze back to look at his soft face. Those hues of blue shone so intently, so beautifully, Robert was enraptured all too quickly.

Robert didn’t have time to think about that, though, when suddenly his senses were bombarded with wet warmth as Joseph kissed him. It wasn’t that Robert was inexperienced in kissing guys, but the whole thing caught him so off guard that he tensed up, almost biting the other’s lips out of reflex. His rebound was a little slow, but eventually he found it in him to kiss Joseph back.

He tasted just like he smelled – like bad wine and cheap fruity cocktails. Robert was learning to like this flavor after all that had happened tonight. A good thing, too, considering how it plagued his senses so heavily as Joseph got closer, removing any space between them.

The kiss was sweet at first as Joseph took great care to be wary of Robert’s reactions. He was delicate. The youth minister brought a hand up to trail up the side of Robert’s face until those fingers found themselves buried in his thick, dark hair. Robert’s hands then found themselves loosely holding the other male by his hips. Joseph was also the first one to pull away, expression soft and maybe a little embarrassed as they looked at each other.

He opened his mouth several times in an attempt to speak. “Robert, I…”

“Shut up.”

Not giving him a chance to ruin the moment (or let it end altogether), Robert’s hands pulled the youth minister in closer by his ass and he kissed him again forcefully. His teeth found the other’s bottom lip and grazed themselves along it, and… damn, did Joseph _really_ have to whine like that? The sound caused them both to shudder slightly, and heat began to radiate off of Joseph’s face.

A little more determinedly this time, Joseph grabbed both of Robert’s hands and took a step back. “Listen, I brought you out here to the bay for a reason. That yacht over there is mine, and I thought…”

Robert’s eyebrows raised slightly. How long exactly had he been planning this? “So you want us to fuck in your yacht? Damn Jo, you coulda just said something.”

He suddenly looked really flustered, like he was barely keeping it together. It was really adorable. Joseph seemed at a loss for words, and Robert picked up on it mercifully, tugging at his hands in reassurance. He liked how Joseph’s smooth fingers felt entwined with his own.

“Well, that’s what you want, right? What are we waiting for?”

* * *

 

Though it may come as a surprise to many, Robert isn’t as fond of sex as he leads on. It’s an enjoyable experience, sure, and he’s been told he’s quite good in bed, but he only jumps on the opportunity when he feels his partner is in need of a fix. Robert finds sex to be something to pass the time with rather than a top priority.

So when he finds a struggling Joseph obviously in need of some relief, who is he to deny him a few hours of fun? A good friend who he cares for so deeply, having relationship problems and needing a distraction. Robert could set aside his uneasiness about intercourse to help the situation best he could. It was the least he could do.

Despite this, however, he was… _weird_ about the idea of one-time flings. Even though it wasn’t a need, opening himself up like this was still an intimate thing, and being cast aside afterwards was never something Robert could handle well. He was a bit sensitive that way. An all-too-optimistic side of Robert’s heart had already started trusting that this night with Joseph was the start of something more, and he was able to swallow those concerns thanks to his hope-addled mind.

Robert pushed Joseph onto the bed, hearing the mattress creak beneath his strong, tense back muscles. A small trickle of moonlight pooled in through the window of the yacht, giving just enough light to illuminate the two of them, their torsos barren and already faintly glistening with sweat. On the way down to this lower part of the deck, the jackets and shirts had already been discarded. Joseph was already breathing heavy, his big chest rising and falling quickly in premature excitement. Once again, a look of vulnerability flashed on the youth minister’s face, enticing Robert to keep at it.

His mouth found Joseph’s neck in no time, teeth grazing along the skin there. He felt the other shudder underneath him, and when Robert bit down with the intention of leaving a mark, Joseph bit back a moan.

Callused hands ran down Joseph’s chest, and when his fingers curled around the blond’s belt he felt his hips buck upward, earning an amused chuckle from Robert.

“You’re quite eager, huh?” He murmured in his ear. Joseph laughed.

“Hey… It’s been a while. And for the record, the only one allowed to judge me is the Lord in heaven.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure he’s thrilled to hear you’re doing this behind your girlfriend’s back?” Robert’s hand moved down to teasingly grope between Joseph’s legs.

Growing ever bigger in Robert’s hand, Joseph gave a whimper-y sigh. “E- ex…” he corrected breathlessly.

It was probably a bad thing, how wonderful it made Robert feel to hear that simple word come out of Joseph’s mouth. Satisfied with the exchange, Robert now had a new motive: to fuck this minister so hard he’d forget he’d even had a girlfriend at the start of this endeavor. He wanted Joseph to forget his past as Robert was his present. He aimed to dominate his senses in a way that neither of them could disregard that.

There was a metallic clink as Joseph’s belt came undone in the darkness, his cute little khakis coming off with ease. That hand of Robert’s now touching him more directly, Joseph’s lower half squirmed about, bucking once again to get as much contact as possible. The minister’s arms wrapped around Robert’s neck, fingers curling themselves into that thick hair once again.

Robert slid his hand up in down at a steady pace and continued to kiss and bite at the other’s collar bone. But once the other stood at a full erection, something within Joseph snapped and the whole atmosphere surrounding the two of them shifted. There was sudden light laughter— when Robert moved to look at Joseph’s face, he saw a smirk illuminated by the soft moonlight. The lighting didn’t make it any less mischievous.

“Okay, have you had your fun?”

“What—?”

Joseph grabbed Robert’s biceps. In one quick and fluid motion, Joseph had rolled them both over and pushed the other onto his back, their roles now reversed. The minister single-handedly grabbed both of Robert’s wrists and held them up above his head effortlessly. His blond hair, which was almost always so clean and well-kept, was now showing signs of dishevelment as thick locks started to fall beautifully into his face. Robert must have looked dumbstruck, because when Joseph looked down at the man he had pinned to the bed beneath, a cocky smile tugged at his lips.

“You didn’t honestly think I was going to let you hold the reigns here, did you? That’s cute.”

A sudden wave of heat flashed over Robert. Joseph was… stronger than he expected. Undeniably, this was the hottest thing he’d ever experienced.

Grinding their hips together, Joseph leaned forward and snatched Robert’s lips with his own, growling into his mouth. Joseph never struck Robert as a rough lover type, but he was finding the youth minster was full of surprises. He kissed so aggressively, with such passion and hunger, that Robert thought he might swallow him whole. Not that he’d mind, honestly.

Robert felt a hand run down his side. He shuddered, suddenly feeling more exposed.

“Sit tight, Bobert. You’re _mine_ tonight.”

* * *

 

The first thing Robert consciously registered was the soothing sound of a trickling breeze and the motion of the swaying ship beneath him. When he opened his eyes, he saw the morning sunlight filtered in through the windows – although the light was faint and gentle, it was a little too much for his eyes to handle. A pounding headache burned at the back of his retinas, and he let out a soft groan of pain, bringing his arms up to shield his face from the sun.

Shit, okay… maybe he overdid it on the alcohol last night. He swallowed, trying to get some wetness back into his throat, and when his tongue ran across his lips he could still taste the sweet sensation of Joseph’s margaritas.

_Joseph._

Despite the god-awful pounding in his head, Robert sat up and opened his eyes once again, wincing as he took in the room around him in search of the youth minister.

It was… messier than Robert expected. Lots of clothes strung around the room and on chairs, empty wine glasses and bottles cluttering the glass coffee table. On the nearby shelf Robert could detect at least five different copies of the Bible, as could be deduced by the giant crosses on their binders. Gross.

A yacht to look _this_ lived-in, however, begged the question: how often was Joseph hanging out here? Was this kind of escapade a normal occurrence?

Despite all these signs of life, Joseph was nowhere to be found. His side of the bed was cold, so wherever he was, he’d been out for a while.

Robert got up off the bed, looking down at his naked frame. A few bruises and bitemarks here, a scratch and a hickey there… compared to previous encounters, Robert got off quite easy. He did feel a bit sore though, but that was not a surprise. Joseph had been a lot rougher on him than he expected, so it was natural for him to feel that in his lower back and thighs. And wrists.

He searched around the bed, eventually finding and putting on the underwear, belt, and jeans he had discarded hours prior. After looking for a few seconds and unable to find his sweater, Robert decided he could do without it. He walked outside onto the deck without a top, letting the sweet morning sun heat up his bare chest. Might as well make the most out of a good morning.

Fumbling with his pockets, Robert pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. He brought the lit cigarette to his lips, and a few seconds later exhaled the smoke in a sigh of relief.

Okay, this was really fucking odd. Where was Joseph? Of all people to abandon him after a fuck session as hardcore as that, Robert never anticipated Joseph would be that kind of guy.

It made Robert’s stomach grow uneasy. Without the foggiest idea what he should do, he simply grimaced, took another drag of his cigarette, and waited.

A few minutes and a second cigarette later, Joseph returned. He called to Robert from the bay and signaled him to come over. When Robert got close, however, he noticed that Joseph seemed… serious.

“Hey, Rob. How’d you sleep?”

“Must have slept pretty hard, considering you got away without me realizing it.”

“Yeah… about that,” Joseph chuckled, but there was no humor in it, “I got a phone call from Mary, and she wanted me to go meet her for breakfast.”

Oh. It was all Robert could do to keep a straight face. He had an awful, awful feeling about this.

“We… talked about stuff.” He continued, treading rather cautiously.

“Joseph, are you telling me that you two—?”

“We’ve decided to give it another shot.”

There was an unsettling silence that prickled in the atmosphere and caused the hair on Robert’s neck to stand on end. Robert clenched his fists. His voice was surprisingly level when it left his throat: “I see.”

Joseph nodded, and the both of them avoided each other’s gaze. He sighed, seemingly unsure what to do with his hands. “It wasn’t what I was planning, either. But something’s come up, and I feel like… it’s the right choice.”

“What do you mean?”

Joseph took a deep, nervous breath. He turned and flashed Robert the most forced smile Robert had ever seen.

“She’s pregnant, Robert.”

Robert felt like he had just been slapped. He stood there, feeling his calm, deadpan façade melting away by the minute. Joseph must have caught on that he wasn’t reacting too well, but trudged on anyway.

“I wasn’t expecting it, either. The news still hasn’t really sunk in yet for me. But all the signs are there. She’s late, and she hasn’t been feeling well, and last time our condom might have…”

Robert knew what that was like. A similar situation had happened when he and his partner were expecting Val. He felt a pang of empathy so strong he had to look away, dark, tired eyes fixating on the morning sun peeking up above the water. It wasn’t as calming as it had been last night.

“So, what are you guys going to do?”

“I’m going to marry her. And although we may have had a bit of a falling out, I feel like… we need to put that aside for our child. We can make it work. It has to.”

Robert gritted his teeth. It wasn’t like he was making a bad choice with what was at hand, and given different circumstances Robert would have commended Joseph for his decision to put fatherhood before his own heart. But something about this whole situation was very upsetting. It seemed a little suspicious that he made that decision in the span of a few hours whilst still being in such a state of shock. Robert sensed there was more on the line than Joseph led on.

“What ever happened to her being your ‘Ex’, Jo?”

The blond’s face turned scarlet, like he’d just been caught in his web of lies and his mind was going into overdrive trying to wriggle his way out. “Well… ah… you see, things were different when it was only the two of us on the line. Besides, I thought you and I were on the same page—wasn’t this supposed to be a one-time thing anyway?”

Oh. OH. So that _was_ his intention from the beginning.

Robert crossed his arms, expression now dark and angry. “Makes sense. We can’t let anyone know that the holy youth pastor everyone loves is a disloyal, cheating liar, huh?”

“Bobert, that isn’t—”

But it was too late. The hurt and anger Robert was feeling began rising and bubbling inside him like boiling water – putting a lid on it now would do no good. The fact Joseph tried to calm him down by using a pet name did not make it any better.

Robert lifted his arms up in an exasperated shrug. “Don’t worry, _Jo,_ your secret is safe with me. I might be your easy little side bitch, but I don’t kiss and tell.”

Joseph looked pained. “You aren’t taking this as well as I was hoping...”

“Well I’m _so_ sorry I don’t live up to your expectations. Go on, don’t let me stop you. Go live your life, take care of your wife and your child, pretend that I was never here.”

“Bobert, _please,_ listen, I just thought—”

“You call me Bobert one more time and I’ll rip that baby maker right off your god damn body, you hear me?”

That seemed to shut Joseph right up. Face red and eyes wide with bewilderment, he stood there awkwardly at a loss for words.

Ugh, Robert’s head was pounding. He didn’t have the energy for this today. He had a hangover to nurse… and a heart to mend. Being here any longer would do no good.

He looked down at his hands. That tattoo, that black little speck of a design, stared right up at him, and just the sight of it made Robert’s stomach nauseous. The memory of last night’s exchange sprung up fresh in his head.

_“You… think this is a bad idea?”_

He sure did now.

Mind too fuzzy to comprehend the words of the voice calling out to him, Robert turned around and began to walk himself home.

* * *

 

The headache eventually dissipated later that afternoon and the bruises and hickeys faded after a few days, but that tattoo remained. A constant and ominous reminder that the heartbreak he was suffering from was real and none of that had been a dream. A souvenir of the night that Robert Small made some of the worst decisions of his life, and would probably regret them until the day he died.

He hadn’t spoken to Joseph since that day. He would see him out and about in the cul-de-sac, mowing the lawn or dancing around his new grill, talking to other neighbors as if everything was perfectly normal in his life. Word got around that he had proposed, and when Robert heard the story that Val had heard from other neighbor kids, it was obvious to him that the story was fabricated and overly romanticized. But naturally, everyone bought it, because he was Joseph Christiansen and Joseph Christiansen was a flawless angel of a human being who loved his sweet wife-to-be unconditionally.

The wedding was planned quickly so that it could be over with before anyone caught on that Mary was expecting. Robert had gotten an invitation to the wedding. He didn’t go. The child was born a few months later. Chris looked just like his father, beautiful blue eyes and all. With his looks, he’d probably grow up and be quite the heartbreaker – like father like son.

Robert spent most of his nights at the bar after that. He had a hard time sleeping or doing anything else, and the booze addled his brain in a way that made it hard to think. And the less he could think, the less time he spent thinking about the pretty youth pastor next door. The bartender, Neil, was a good guy, and pitied Robert just enough to give him a special discount on whiskey on nights that he looked particularly shitty. Robert never really appreciated pity, but hey. If it got him cheap whiskey, he could deal with a couple sympathetic looks.

 _Stupid. This whole situation was stupid_ , He thought to himself as he downed another shot of whiskey, enjoying how it burned at his throat going down.

A familiar voice started to hum faintly on the radio overhead. That unique country drawl and the accompanying sound of steel drums made it a signature Jimmy Buffett soundtrack. He seemed to be plaguing Robert’s ears these days, as the memory of he and Joseph’s karaoke adventure would pop back into his head every time he heard that voice.

 _“I think you might_ be _my Margaritaville._ ”

He laughed coldly to himself. Since when did he fall for such sappy, useless words?

It was all so fucking stupid.

Robert called for another shot.

* * *

 

Joseph had just finished tucking his oldest son in to bed, and he made his way to his own bedroom to hopefully get some rest. The day had been exhausting, but… was there ever a day that went by that wasn’t?

It had been a few years since he and Robert had had the night of their lives—at this point, Joseph now had three kids (Mary had given birth to a pair of twins this last time) and an extremely busy schedule trying to raise them. Being a dad as well as the town’s most popular youth minster was no easy task, but he loved his life dearly and enjoyed what he could of it, despite the inevitable flaws.

Still though, whenever he had a chance to think about it, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of… guilt for what he had done. He did his best not to dwell on it for the sake of his own sanity, but every so often the image of Robert sprawled out on his bed lingered in his mind in a way that made his heart sink in his chest.

So maybe he had known about the baby a few days prior. Maybe he had already planned on proposing to Mary before Robert came into his life. But Joseph was conscious of his own flaws and how difficult it is for him to make decisions under pressure, and he just… did what felt right in the moment. It was never his intention to hurt Robert, though whether it was intentional or not, he had still done a lot of damage.

In the dark and safety of his own room, Joseph clutched at the blue sweater he had wrapped around his neck. Feeling that sense of guilt well up inside him, he wasn’t sure what he regretted more: impulsively cheating on his wife, or deeply hurting the man he had accidentally fallen in love with.


End file.
